The Forever Child: A Tale of Anger and Fear

The Forever Child: A Tale of Anger and Fear
fairy tale by Nancy Clark; parenting guide by Bryan Post
ISBN # 0-9726830-2-X

summary: A tale about a young boy named Jean Paul who was abandoned by uncaring relatives after his parents had died from hunger and cold. He lives alone deep in a forest in France where he depends on no one else to meet his needs. One day he is captured by thieves who sell him to some kindly villagers who have good intentions to provide a home for him. They are surprised to find that he is a snarling and ferocious creature.

Parenting guide strategies:

--The adopted child is your forever child

--The foster child longs for consistent care

--Be aware of and sensitive to your child's history (and how it affects his/her responses to your attempts to make up for the trauma)

--Do not be put off by your child's wariness and mistrust (every fiber of his being is telling him that he can trust no on but himself; he finds it extremely difficult to give up this control to his new parents

--Know that fear will dominate your child's reactions to you (Fear is the by-product of stress and it often manifests itself in aggression. Children, especially boys, can easily slip into this behavior whenever there is something that they see as being out of their control. If the child seems to be trusting at first, they are probably watching, analyzing, and waiting for inconsistencies. Make every effort to be aware of those environments and situations that the child perceives as threatening and make modifications as necessary.)

--Be aware of your own issues (your own unresolved early trauma...painful memories...then, instead of blaming the child when your own sensitivities are triggered, see it as an opportunity to work on your own healing, perhaps with professional help as needed.)